To Zay

To my nearly two year old:

I love you. That is now and always will be the most important thing I can tell you. More importantly, show you. You are my sunset of colors in a world of gray. I will always love you. Never forget that.

Today, you waved at your shadow. It was so very adorable. As you lay in your crib bed sleeping, I can’t help but think that one day you will wave at me that way. Your first day of school, your first sleepover, your first summer camp, and dare I say it, your first day of college. A lump grows in my throat when I think about that wave. My heart tightens and I pray for time to slow down. To a crawl.

So, for the time between your wave goodbye to your shadow and your wave goodbye to your childhood, let me hug you. Let me chase you. Let me run and skip and jump with you. And let me hold your hand.

Let me hold your hand through good and bad. You don’t know of the bad in the world yet, and I’m glad. Right now, all is play and smiles and monsters tickle you (Mommy Monster). Your heart is still fresh and pure. You still see every day through new eyes that forget the beauty of yesterday so they still have amazement when you see it the next day. Nothing is old to you, yet. Not even rocks!

But there will come a time when you will see the bad. And that’s okay. I don’t want to hide it from you, because the bad is just as real as the good. I want you to see It for what it is. See it and chose to war against it. Right now, you pick up your foam sword and “Hi-Yah” with Dad. When you see the bad, I want you to pick up that “sword” with your kind words, sweet actions, and never ending love and go to war. Because, baby, you can make a difference. You don’t have to move the earth to make your imprint. You never know when your smile to a stranger will cut the ties of depression. You never know when your words will set a soul free. You don’t know, so you must treat everyone the way you wish to be treated. I will hold your hand while you learn to do this, just like my mommy held mine.

Sweet boy, you are learning so fast. Mama’s big boy! You are feeding yourself. Walking, er- Running, everywhere. Learning colors and numbers. Learning timeout, the hard way. You are too smart for your own good. And I love watching you piece things together and seeing the pride beam from your face. Be proud, son. I am proud of you!

I still can’t believe you have been mine for nearly two years. It seems like yesterday you were placed upon my chest and I was given the title of mom for the very first time. Yet, you’re my forever. I can’t imagine what life would be like without you, and your “cheese” face. You, and your big blue eyes that light up when you smile. You with your fake cry and your “talk, talk.” You with your “(gui)Tar” and your latest music obsession. Currently, “Rude.” You with your beautiful laugh and ever growing “Peet” (feet). Please, walk softly with those feet. I know you love to run but slow down just a little so I can snapshot memories to tuck away for a rainy day.

This letter is more for me than you, but I hope one day you will read it and smile. I know I will smile when thinking about you and this time in your life, my beautiful baby boy! I will end this letter the same way I started it, by saying I love you. That is and always will be truth. That is the most important thing!

Love,

Mama

❤ Like Baby Bear Soup

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